The Pink Thermos

If I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I go in my pink thermos. You see, I live in my car.  It is a choice I made almost a year ago because I needed a break from the hamster wheel of modern life- work, earn money, pay bills, take care of kids and the house, look at screens, exercise, eat, plan on what to eat, clean up after eating, hang out with friends, sleep and repeat.

So, now I am done raising my kids and no longer need to provide a home for them and I am also done doing what I have always done.  But what next? I just didn't know. I had ideas, but they were so different than what I have been doing.  I knew as long as I was stuck in this cycle, I wouldn't be able to empty my head long enough to figure out what I really wanted and my energy would be spent maintaining the life I have always lived.  I then decided to get rid of the greatest expense and energy drain....housing. No more rent, energy, water, or internet bills and spending time on home maintenance. I was able to stop doing what I have always done and live minimally and have the time to explore what really mattered to me.  Create space with no financial anxiety to invite something different in.  Having more mental space has been incredible.  I can breath again.

Do I sometimes miss having a place to be quiet and just veg out?  Do I miss having a kitchen?  Does it get hard to sleep in my car? (Well, to be honest, I haven't slept this solid in years.) And is it strange to squat over my pink thermos on the floor of the passenger side to go to the bathroom (when no one is around)? Yes, it is hard sometimes.  But it is a trade-off.  You have to give up something to get something different. I am releasing what no longer works and is no longer fitting for my life and exploring what does.  You see, I want to really live my values and what is important to me.  I want to really live. So many people spend their whole lives running on that hamster wheel and never truly live a life that matters to them.  I don't want to do that.  Life is short and goes by in a blink. And we only get one.  So, for now, I'll use my pink thermos.  I know it isn't forever and the trade-off is so worth it.